Saltiness and Other Topics

Written by Natalie Luhrs

I'm a lifelong geek with a passion for books and social justice.
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April 17, 2021

Things about which I am salty, an unordered list:
  • WordPress. They did something with one of the recent updates that makes the featured image appear at the top of the post, even if it was already there. It might be a problem with my template. I am mad about it either way. I fixed a bunch of the recent posts, but you stalkers who are reading my archives, you’re gonna have to deal with duplicate images until I get this sorted. Or, you know, you could find something else to do with your time.
  • Speaking of: the passage of time. You’d think that with not having a job and all that I’d have time to do all the things and yet…I do not. This irks me and I don’t think this is something I’m going to get sorted. Productivity gurus, please get on this, kthxbi.
  • Etsy. I honestly hate how you have to go through their website to fucking track your fucking purchases that have nearly always been shipped USPS. Just give me the damned tracking number in my email, I don’t need three new tabs opened in my browser. (I am extra-salty about this right now because I have blocked myself from looking at shopping sites so I can’t track anything that I ordered before I put the block in place).
  • Salt. So meta, I know. I’m supposed to “watch” my sodium intake because of the whole stupid fluid issue and dammit, salt is tasty, salt is good. I like salt. It’s a food group. I keep trying to quit it and…not succeeding.
  • I am getting approximately 7L of fluid drained from my abdomen every two weeks. This is about as fun as it sounds. Especially when you’ve only had 2 hours 0f sleep because of anxiety and all you want to do is snooze between the invasive bits and you get the chatty nurse who will not leave you alone.
    • Fun stats time: I have had 31 paracentesis since August 2018 with 161.5L total drained. I get them on average once a month–but since last December the average has been once every three weeks. The average fluid accumulation per day is about 0.25L. They sometimes knock me on my ass for an entire day. I honestly would not wish this nonsense on my worst enemy and that means you. Yes, you.
  • Blood thinners. I had my annual poke and prod last month and I literally hard to warn my ob/gyn about the bruises on my legs in advance. And I got a replacement IUD and literally bled for three weeks. That was fun. On the other hand, I am convinced that being on blood thinners was a factor in me having an exceptionally mild case of COVID–I had a bit of a cough and a bit of a sore throat for about 3 days and that was it. My antibody test came back positive, so I definitely did have it. Thanks, emergency room where I was stuck for 6 hours, half of which I was barely conscious. That was great.
  • Speaking of: use the guard on your mandoline. Do not be me and slice off a nice chunk of your finger making quick pickles, of all things. Finger’s healed, the pickles were delicious, but there’s nothing quite like being that dumb-ass with an entirely preventable injury in the ER (they got me in and out in an hour which was an actual record; I suspect it was because I was literally bleeding through my homemade bandages every 10 minutes or so and they didn’t want to deal with calling Environmental to come and clean everything–as with everything else in the world, if it bleeds, it leads).

Please do not offer me medical advice. I have something like 10 doctors and it’s already A Lot to keep up with what they want me to do on a day to day basis to manage everything. I do not have the bandwidth to process any advice that doesn’t come from one of my doctors, no matter how well meant the advice may be. Thank you!

Non-Salty things, of which there are a few!

  • Despite the appalling fluid situation, I am feeling well enough to get outside and walk! I’ve been able to manage several mile-plus long walks over the last few week and my goal is to get to 3 walks a week so I can re-start my long-quiescent project of walking to Mordor and back. I had made it back to Rohan before I got sick, which is as good a place as any to spend three years, I suppose. (Ugh, I see it’s an app now and no, everyone must use a deeply nerdy spreadsheet for this.)
  • Also despite the appalling fluid situation, I am having way more good days than bad–apparently getting the hell out of a toxic and abusive work situation was good for that? (I am still waiting for my severance payment which I am supposedly getting at the end of the month, when they run payroll. Because they couldn’t let me have it 2 days early when they ran March payroll, nope.)
  • I got my first COVID shot two and a half weeks ago, thanks to the wonderful Annalee finding me an appointment when I was out of can to find one myself. I am Team Moderna, which I assume means that I’ll be able to cast summon(DollyParton).Jolene in a month or so. Please don’t tell me otherwise.
  • My insulin pump! It is so so so so great and awesome. It does a pretty good job at keeping me on an even keel, even if I’m not thrilled with the direction my endocrinologist’s office is taking the weekly tinkering. But it has reduced the cognitive load of diabetes and not having to give myself injections a million times a day is just amazing.
  • Also my A1C was 5.8–which is in the “pre-diabetes” range for non-diabetics. For an insulin-dependent diabetic, that’s a really good number.
  • I am finally getting evaluated for ADHD/other executive function disorders. However, that’s not happening until the end of June. In the meantime, please enjoy my complete and total lack of executive function and inability to stay on topic for more than 60 seconds at a time if we interact in any way outside of email.
  • My garden is looking absolutely lovely and I am charmed by how aggressively cheerful–and aggressive–the creeping jenny is. It has plans to take over the world that are only stymied by the sidewalk-house-porch fencing it in. The back yard is less lovely and that, too, cheers me because I know it irritates the ever-living shit out of our neighbor and since it’s not viewable from the street, she can’t do a damn thing about it. I have also learned that she has been known to call county on people as far away as four houses down, so she is apparently a Known Nuisance.
  • We rearranged the living room and it’s how I’ve wanted it since we bought the house in 2014 and I love it. It feels so much cozier than it did. The cats like it, too.
  • That Hugo ballot, y’all. It’s such a good ballot and it makes me happy.
  • I have an idea for a really big project and it terrifies me and I don’t know where to start. But it’s a good idea and if I can get a handle on it, it’ll be really great.
  • My online coding classes continue to go really well. I’m having fun and learning new things and that’s all good in the long run. And git sure is a thing, folks.
  • Finally: Ivan snores and it’s the cutest damn thing.

Here’s hoping everyone has a fan-fucking-tastic weekend. I know I’m planning to.

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1 Comment

  1. Irina

    One does not simply walk into Mordor. But I’m cheering your ability to go for walks.

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