One Year One Year One Year

Written by Natalie Luhrs

I'm a lifelong geek with a passion for books and social justice. Fuck around and find out.

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February 5, 2022

Since I was hospitalized.

And that, up there, is a picture of the necrosis on what’s left of my pancreas (I helpfully drew a box around it). It’s 30% smaller than it was a year ago, which is significant. The sort of fuzzy gray area to the left of the box is what’s left of my pancreas and if you compare to other images found online, you can see that a pancreas is Not Supposed To Look Like That. And that large mass to the right of the necrosis is my spleen and, huh, I just learned that the constellation of issues I have in my gut is an actual syndrome. I had no idea. The things you can learn from googling “megalosplenia.”


My health, while still not great–I still get tired fairly easily–is so much better than it was a year ago. And I’ve heard the blessed words from several of my doctors now: I am stable.

After 30 months of terrifying instability, with 18 hospitalizations during that time, it is so good to be stable.

I can make plans for the future. I can worry a little bit less about dying of either sepsis or the necrosis. I can work without it killing me. I have more energy to write and do other things I love.

Today is a good day.

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