• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Comment Policy
  • Nav Widget Area

    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter

Pretty Terrible

Pop Culture Criticism by Natalie Luhrs

You are here: Home / Opinion / Mediocre Confidence

January 31, 2016

Mediocre Confidence

mediocrewhiteman

One of the things that always hits me the week or so after I get back from a convention is a kind of emotional fragility. This week and a bit after ConFusion has been no different; I’m actively trying to brainstorm strategies I can use to make myself more resilient in the future because, wow, it sucks.

But in the meantime, I’m thinking about confidence and how hard it is for me to have it.

I’ve done a lot of work over the past few years. I’ve written about nearly every single controversy within science fiction/fantasy fandom–broken more than my fair share of stories, in fact–and time and again, people take my work and choose not to give me credit. Sometimes it’s a case of parallel evolution, but other times, it’s clear that without my work, they wouldn’t have a foundation to build upon.

Do you know what happens when I point this out?

Accusations of whining, of attention seeking, of wanting more traffic sent to my blog, ignored, and generally mocked. Then there was the time I talked to a reporter and she used information I gave her in my article–information which was critical, incidentally–but didn’t actually mention who told her about that information. Good times.

These are all silencing tactics. And yeah, I’m bitter and angry. I think I’m allowed to be. All these things are pernicious and shitty and I am so tired of people who constantly build themselves up at the expense of others. At my expense.

I don’t get paid for this work. I don’t get paid for dealing with any of the shit that comes with being an opinionated woman in public.

These things fuck with my head and often make it difficult to continue–why should I bother saying anything if someone who has access to a larger platform than I do is just going to step over me while they repeat my words? While knowing that if I speak up, chances are good the response will be, “Who the hell do you think you are?”–because that’s nearly always been the response.

I know I’m not the only one who experiences this phenomenon, but I think I may be one of the only ones who experiences it repeatedly. It is beyond frustrating.

There aren’t any easy solutions. I wish there were.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Opinion Natalie Luhrs

About Natalie Luhrs

I'm a lifelong geek with a passion for books and social justice.

Reader Interactions

Links: 01/29/16
Three Things: Things to Read

Trackbacks

  1. TV Tropes Monday: City of Adventure | Neither Here nor There.... says:
    February 1, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    […] Tweet of the Day: Mediocre Confidence […]

Primary Sidebar

Welcome

Hello! I’m Natalie Luhrs. I write about books and culture and whatever else strikes my fancy. I have so many opinions.

I was a nominee for the Best Fan Writer Hugo in 2017.

Search

Upcoming Conventions

None, because pandemic. Woe!

Support Pretty Terrible

Updates by Email

Blog posts, cat pictures, and other random things in email? Sign up here.
 

 

2021 Reading Challenge

2021 Reading Challenge

2021 Reading Challenge
Natalie has read 6 books toward their goal of 50 books.
hide
6 of 50 (12%)
view books

Recently Read

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows
The Relentless Moon
A Wizard's Guide To Defensive Baking
Mischief
Architects of Memory
The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water
Unconquerable Sun
Bury Your Dead
The Brutal Telling
A Rule Against Murder
The Cruelest Month
A Fatal Grace
The Angel of the Crows
One Summer in Paris
Still Life
The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion
Family for Beginners
The City We Became
Seven Sisters
The Harbors of the Sun


Natalie's favorite books »

Footer

Helpful Links

  • Home
  • About
  • Comment Policy
  • RSS - Posts

Archives

Looking for Something?

Recent Posts

  • Recent Reading, January 2021
  • Could I possibly catch a break now?
  • Some Positive News, For Once
  • Still Too Broken to Fix
  • Three Things Make A Post: August 17, 2020

Copyright © 2021 Natalie Luhrs · Pretty Happy On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in
"It's chaos, be kind." Michelle McNamara

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.