Bad Life Decisions: Chapters 21 & 22

Written by Natalie Luhrs

I'm a lifelong geek with a passion for books and social justice.

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July 21, 2015

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War in Heaven, Theodore Beale

Chapter 21: River of Fire

Jesus finally showed up! And it wasn’t Khasar!

This is basically the chapter in which Jesus tells a story about weeds and wheat and burning weeds in furnaces and then Jami and Holli jump in some water and get baptized. I suspect the diffident way in which they accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior is meant to illustrate faith and the importance of it but it felt way more like them getting a Get Out of Hell Free Card and that’s just not my sort of thing at all.

Chapter 22: The King Comes Back

I think this book has officially broken me. This chapter was pretty much pointless except that Beale needed to show someone actually having faith in their darkest moment so he picks a third string character for the dark moment.  This really only works if the dark moment happens to one of your main characters. We’re not invested in Koser and why should we be concerned if he and all those he cares about are about to be leveled flat by Lucifer’s army? I am so not invested in this character or his fate.

And on that cheerful cheerful note, that’s it for this week unless I feel like reading more tonight and I’m thinking probably not. Fifty more pages. I can do this.

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  1. R.S. Hunter

    I just imagine David Tennant’s Doctor saying his “I’m sorry” line over and over in response to you tackling this book. I mean I’m thoroughly enjoying your recaps and tweets, but jeez it really does sound so painful to read. You better treat yourself something fierce once this is all over!

  2. lampwick

    Well, it’s been a long time since Hebrew school, but I was curious enough to try to decipher this mess. So “keruv” could mean angel, as in cherub; on the other hand it could mean cabbage, so who knows. “Kerav” means battle. Elohai means “God of” — I think, like I said, it’s been a long time. So I think he’s going for “Lord of Battles” (which would explain the creepy red eyes) but he got it backwards — it should be more like Elohai Kerav (or keravim, if he’s going for plural). I’m not at all surprised he got it wrong — I’ve heard his Latin is equally terrible.


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