Fundraising status: $1,800/$2,000! So close to the goal!
Note to self: next time you pick a terrible book to read for charity, make it a shorter one. #readingVD
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
Chapter 15: The Green Rider
#readingVD Chapter 15: The Green Rider. Epigraph from Marcus Aurelius.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD Jami & Holli are going down the stairs of the crystal tower, but they have to be careful because it's slippery. No handrails?
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD Captain of the Tower Guards meets them, he's cute but has a "thick brown mustache".
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD Despite the pornstache, Holli flirts with captain of the Tower Guard. Because that's all she knows how to do with men. Teehee.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD However, the guard has no time for either of them and looks past them like they're a couple of old women & walks WAY TOO FAST.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD They're apparently from an area of Minnesota called Arden Hills. Looks like a NE 'burb of Minneapolis.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD So judgy, Holli. So judgy. pic.twitter.com/3LFo0xuW47
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD Also, the head-hopping is back. Such an easy thing to fix, too. Sigh.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD That's right: wrinkles are the worst, worse than being unconscious for either 3 or 5 days. pic.twitter.com/LCk36FdnQH
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD So the worst thing EVER for a woman is to be old or unattractive. Got it.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD !!!!!! On page 222 the most amazing thing happens! GOD SHOWS UP (in an infodump).
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD And would it surprise ANYONE if I told you that God is an old white man with a long white beard who is Very Angry?
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD He's so angry, his face is all red and stuff.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD I was REALLY hoping God would look like this. pic.twitter.com/SV3RJBskrP
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD I feel like going into a whole Joan of Arcadia digression now but I won't. But it was a great show and I miss it so much.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD A palate cleanser. https://t.co/244oM6xGud
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD The Lady of the Tower is a LOT older than 30. She's 490! That must be some skin cream!
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD And the Tower is….some sort of symbol of God's existence on the midst of the realm of the Dawn Prince (LUCIFER).
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD People who know the Bible a lot better than me: Is ANY of this biblical?
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
(general Twitter consensus was that this is wacky and non-Biblical nonsense.)
#readingVD But the Lady and the people living in the Tower became complacent and fell into sin! SHE GOT MARRIED AND HAD SEX AND HAD A BABY.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 1, 2015
#readingVD and the angel of the lord came to her and said that her husband would die bc of her sin. And he did!
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD this is like an anti-Annunciation story.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And then the Lady pulls her key out of her robes. I am very confused now.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Unlike Christopher's key, the Lady's is large. And while it was originally clear, her sin turned it BLOOD RED. Everyone gasps.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD so the large red key is a sign that the Almighty will cleanse the world of Ahura Azdha with His wrath and none shall be spared.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
@eilatan I AM THE DREAD PIRATE YHWH AND THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS
— Paul Ward (@MrEvilena1) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And then they start singing a song whose lyrics are as follows: Oh, God Oh, God As we pray As we pray
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD "His eyes were bleak, promising not love and life but suffering and death." HELLO BEL MAVOR, SON OF THE LADY.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Bel Mavor, though, is a traitor! He works for Matraya! And comes with a message!
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD The Lady is really, really angry with Bel Mavor. So angry she takes his name away.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Holli thinks this is very sad and finds the misery in Bel Mavor's eyes appealing.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD That Bel Mavor. He knows how to make an exit. pic.twitter.com/E1RSN43Kt9
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD That's it for chapter 15. Lots of talking, not a lot of actual action. As usual.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
So basically like every other chapter in this book, it’s about 90% standing around and talking and 10% stuff happening. And I like books where people sit around and talk–Addison’s The Goblin Emperor, Cherryh’s Foreigner series–but those people are talking about things that make sense and aren’t just infodumps obliquely addressed to the reader.
Bleah.
Chapter 16: Shattered Crystal, Broken Glass
#readingVD Chapter 16: Shattered Crystal, Broken Glass. Epigraph from Amos. http://t.co/LfcCtiQqZn
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD So…anyone want to make a bet on what happens in this chapter?
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD DOOM FILLED PROPHECY.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Khasar and friends have just shown up, Holli wonders if they can escape with him.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD The Lady knows she and her tower are DOOMED but charges the angels who have served her with protecting Holli and Jami.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Lokhael, his shining face full of grief, agrees. I love how characters get names after they've been around for a chapter.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD also stupid jokes about the knock on Holli's head maybe doing her some good. After 3 (or 5) days unconscious.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Oh, go ahead. Martyr yourself for your God, Lady Tiphereth. Obedience! Submission! You annoy me & not because you're pretty.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD now, like Galadriel, Lady Tiphareth is bestowing gifts upon Holli and Jami.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Holli is given eyes that can see spirits and the hearts of men, but she is not to be judgemental. TOO LATE, LADY TIPHARETH.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Jami is given a word that will command spirits. Even though she is prideful, like a lion.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD these are stupid gifts. What about a glowing sword or a magic light? Those would be more useful.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Khasar and one of his companions change into flying lion forms. "You can't get through there! It's too small!" (It's a window.)
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And then Khasar pretty much ignores the window and just flies through the wall anyhow.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD and then they fly REALLY FAST, so fast that they're a mile away in like a minute.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD I think I am glad that this particular action is taking place off the page. pic.twitter.com/erynzeFVAF
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD and then there's more singing of lugubrious hymns. Like a dirge.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Also, they're are flying in place, hovering, if you will. Flap flap.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Looks like the Lady gave Lokhael her key. He holds it above his head and breaks it in half.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And the Tower turns blood red and shatters into a millionty pieces and KILLS EVERYONE.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD oh dear. This is the song they're singing. https://t.co/uBhEFHN4SU
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD okay, so not really lugubrious but wow, all those synthesizers. Wow.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD Theodore Beale has terrible taste in music.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And then Holli throws up. After 3 (or 5?) days of being unconscious and not eating anything. Okay then.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD and now the girls are wondering why God did this? He did it to MAKE AN EXAMPLE. This is why bad things happen to good people.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD The Lord God is merciful and slow to anger, but when He gets mad, watch out. Very grumpy about this.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And now the girls are all oh, fear of the Lord is the start of the path of wisdom!
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD this is starting to sound like an abusive relationship.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD this is a much better song about God and fear of Him. https://t.co/e3CDjAwzpl
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD "Save me from the justice of this burning lamb / walking in the shadow of the big man"
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD GUADALCANAL DIARY FOREVER is basically what I'm saying.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And now there's something about if you seek and esteem Wisdom she'll exalt and honor you? Like Sophia Wisdom? Gnosticism?
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD And that's it for chapter 16.
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
#readingVD current reading progress. More than halfway through! pic.twitter.com/uovnGNvJsF
— Imperator Nataliosa (@eilatan) July 2, 2015
More than halfway through the book and still no Jesus. Not much God either, but we do have some smiting and wrath, so I guess that’s something?
And there’s still not a lot of action. Even the escape from the Tower was routine and not that exciting. Jami and Holli are basically observers in a pantomime that doesn’t really seem to have any real consequences for them. Everything is badly staged, and I am trying to find things I like about this book and I can’t really find any. I could see this being an interesting and compelling book in the hands of a more competent writer, but Beale is not that writer. And this is not exactly the most original of stories, either. There’s a hollowness to it, it feels like there’s a checklist somewhere of things that Beale has to include for this book to be theologically correct according to his beliefs and I really don’t feel like religion and belief is a paint by numbers sort of things. It’s eerily soulless, for all that it’s stuffed full of religion.
